How Do I Stop Loving My Ex
   
   Dear Eve,
I got married to my wife three years ago...I was not in love with her but I got married to her after my ex jilted me because I wasn't ready for marriage at that time.after one year of my ex's marriage,I met my wife and I married her immediately to stop hurting from the heart break.My mother said that after sometime I will learn to love her but since then I haven't fallen in  with her rather I love my ex.
What will I do to stop loving my ex and  fall in love with my wife?
Chinedu,


Dear,chinedu,
It's heartbreaking to read your story,loving someone from afar when you really need the person to love you back but you need to accept your wife.Your ex doesn't love you at all but your wife love and accepted you the way you are,instead of you loving her you are stretching your neck to someone who doesn't love you at all.Nothing will make your ex come back to you so concentrate on building your home.goodluck

Eve pillow talk: Dear Eve,I met Faith a year and six months ago in...

Eve pillow talk: Dear Eve, I met Faith a year and six months ago in...: Dear Eve, I met Faith a year and six months ago in a club.i took her home and we had a nice time together.i paid her off that day and we e...

Dear Eve,
I met Faith a year and six months ago in a club.i took her home and we had a nice time together.i paid her off that day and we exchanged numbers.
The next time I needed a woman I called her to come spend time with me.she was great in bed but what caught me my attention was her character.As a bachelor,the house was a mess and I usually buy my food from Buka but as she came that afternoon,she washed the dishes,clean the entire house.out of gratitude,I asked her to spend the night and I increase her money.in the morning,I purposely asked her to prepare breakfast for me.we went to the market together and she made a nice soup and kept the right quantity in the refrigerator.From that day,I do call her up to help me with the house chores she never failed to come help me even the days I didn't call her,she will call me to know if I needed her help.Gradually I felled in love with her.I never asked her out but we started dating,spending time together.i asked her to stop the runs of a thing and I enrolled her in a fashion school.She is living in my house and  foot all her bills and her character is better than all the girls I have dated in the past.
Now I want to get married but my friends are all against me getting married to an ex-prostitute.they said she will give birth to prostitutes or worst because she have slept with different men.Even my closest friend is threatening to tell my family about her past if I insist on getting married to her.some are saying she will become adulterous later and she is pretending to love me.
For two months now I have been so hostile to her.i want her to leave but she just keep on being nice to the extent that I shed tears secretly because I never intended to be bad to her.i do love this girl but my friends were there the day I picked her from the club.what should I do? Anonymous


Dear Anonymous,
Marriage these days are crumbling because of the same reason you have here,what about my friends opinion,my mother's opinion and the society at large?is my partner good for them?Dearest marriage is sacred,marriage is an institution,your partner must be from personal choice and opinion and not for public opinion poll.
This girl might have a bad past but her personality surpass all the mistakes she have made.you have rinse her with the help of God out of bondage and made her see light.You prefer her character to all you have been with now why do you care about your friends opinion?if you really love her you need to accept her character and her past ,your friends or parents are not ones to leave with her but you.when you marry the wrong person or right the out come is entirely yours to bear so dear tell your friends that she is the one period.when we claim to love someone we ought to forgive he or she of the past.she might have a reason why she took that part not all prostitutes inherited the behaviour.some are out of frustration while some are out of peer influence.My candid advise is go ahead and marry this girl if you really love her.dont mind what the society will say or think,you might marry a church girl and the marriage will not last.the part where they said she might become adulterous is a big liar.some of these girls don't do it because they enjoy it but because they feel it's their only hope of survival.some of the church girls have deep secrets you won't believe,some have ugly monsters in their cupboard,in their closets are stories you can't imagine.is it not better you stay with the person you have know her worst?Love coverth all sins says the word of God.Your friends might end up coming to seek advice on how to keep their own home when yours becomes that great..go ahead and marry your girl,good luck.

Dear Eve,
I'm getting married in the month of December this year but I don't love my husband to be.
I'm 31 years of age and all my friends are married.My age mates are almost married expect for a few and myself,this have been a burden to me.no suitor have come since last two years.I have already given up,I have gone to spiritual houses,did lots of prayers.eventually my soon to be husband came last three months and he came for nothing but marriage. I accepted the proposal not because I love him but because I'm afraid that no one might come again.he is not my type, he is lousy though very caring and kind.
We have bought almost everything needed for the traditional wedding and the dowry have been paid.I'm not excited at all that am getting married but I think I must go through with the wedding because of my age.
Please what should I do?
Ayo

Dear Ayo,
I know that feeling of accepting what one doesn't want out of necessity but I think you should not go through with the marriage because it might not last.Your heart doesn't accept him.some say love do develop after a short while in such marriage but I don't believe that.Dear please marriage is for better for worst and when you are not in love with your partner nothing he or she does will be pleasing to you.you will end up hating him or her the more way into the marriage.instead of going into this marriage because of shame that your friends are all married,pray harder and watch very soon your kind of Man will show up.many still get married after 35 years.marriage is meant to be enjoyed not to be endured.when you get into this marriage you might end up only enduring in pain althrough.how will you feel after posting the pre wedding and wedding photos on social media then after few years you will announce your separation.making love to your husband might not be fun at all because you don't love him.call him and your family and talk to them in honesty they will understand. I pray that God will help you.Goodluck.

Dear eve,
I'm kelechi from Anambra state.I got married last year to my husband.I was 23 years old when I got married and my husband was 36.He is based in Australia,he is married to an Australia woman and they have two daughters.though he told my family and I his marital status before we got married last year but now I'm not comfortable with the whole thing again and I want to quit my marriage.
He told me not to post our marriage on social media.I'm not allowed to be his friend on social media and can't celebrate our anniversaries like my fellow women on social media.he told me he married the woman and in order to survive over there but i don't believe him because children doesn't suppose to come from that kind of relationship.he visits Nigeria not more than three times in a year while he basically live with  his wife over there with their children but I'm just a Nigeria base who is hidden from the world.he posts the pictures of his wife and kids on social media then mine he hides infact I can't even call him expect he calls because the white woman doesn't suppose to know about my existence. Please I'm tired and I want to call the white woman and tell her the truth or I walk away from the marriage.please what should I do.
Kelechi


Dear kelechi,
At 24 you are not supposed to be in this kind of marriage but you are already in it you have only option of walking away but remember you wrote that this man told you family about his marital status before your family accepted the dowry from him that means he is a good and honest man but its like the thought and fantasies of getting married to abroad based man didn't allow you to see clearly what you were getting into.It will be a great injustice to this man if you expose him to the said white woman.it wouldn't do you any good and you will end up ruining this man entire future and all he worked hard to get.This man have done you no wrong.gently leave but cause no harm to his life but if you want to stay,my sister getting married to an abroad base man you must be matured enough to bear any ugly outcome because keeping a long distance relationship is not an easy thing.this man restricting you call is not he love you less but he only protecting himself,the other woman who knows nothing about your existence.the white woman is the victim here not you.she was married to this man,might have also worked hard with him to get the things you are enjoying today. Sweetheart sit your ass down or leave peacefully.

     How Do I cope With My Boyfriend's Babymama and The Baby.
                                                         Dear  Eve,
   My boyfriend of Six months,whom i love so much has a baby with another woman before we met.he told me about the baby mama and the baby and i accepted to be with him no matter the circumstances surrounding the relationship.At first the going was ok.i move along with the relationship,loving the baby boy as mine but i dont think i can do it anymore because the baby mama suddenly started coming close to my man,this makes me uncomfortable.
My boyfriend and the baby mama exchanges phone Call everyday in the name of co-parenting.she Calls in the midnight to report the child is ill or about school issues.One night,she called by 9pm and immediately my boyfriend rushed out to her home because the baby had a little fever.She clearerly wants my man.
I think she is using the baby as an excuse to come close to him and  anytime i complain my boyfriend will understand it that i'm too sensitive and jealous.I really want to confront her.i want her to stay away from my Man or should i get pregnant to retain my stand with him?
What Do you Advice i should do?
  May.


     Dear Mary,
 Honey it's wise of you that you that you seek for an advice before you take a step you might regret later one life.One,it's alright you feel the way you do.Every woman who is in  love will certainly feel threatened by the presence of another woman around her man.
To be honest it's best you have one on one discussion with your man.let him clarify you on your stand with him.Anything he tells you,take it accept it that way and watch.That he is in constant communication with his baby mama is not unusual for separated parents co-parenting a child.for him to always listen to her means he is a good man and respectful too.Remember the lady in question is not just a regular girl trying to get her way with him.No,she was with him,infact the mother of his child.The relationship have come to stay,it now left for you to know if you can cope with it because even if he marries you tommorow he can't stop coperating with his baby mama in order to raise the child until the child can take care of himself.
In order hands,they can still be in love but the guy might be playing a nice guy in order not to hurt you.so the best step in all this is to have a heart discussion with him in order to know whether to move on with your life or not.if he is still in love with her do not try to fight just walk away.commit it all into the hands of God and watch how your own miracle will come.It's much better to be single than to be with a man  whose heart is with another.
Don't ever try to get pregnant in order to
Keep him.If the other lady can't keep him with a child why do you think it will work for you.Having a child will only show how desperate you are to keep him.Great woman do not compete for love they compete for greatness.The heart knows where it belongs.so if his heart doesn't belong to you no method can keep him.I pray you approach this issue with prayer and wisdom.bye