Dear Eve,
I'm a 25 years old lady,I decided to remain a virgin until I get married.it was a promise I made to myself,I wanted my first sex to be with my husband.Five months ago I met a guy and I fell in love with him totally.When I told him that I'm a virgin he was happy but from then on he avoided me sexually.he could not caress me or kiss me.i felt as if he doesn't love me enough because of my virginity.when I asked him he told me that he can't stand the sight of blood.he told me that he doesn't want us to engage in acts that will make us have sex because he hate to see blood and can't stand seeing me in pain.
With all he said I felt as if he can't marry me,I was scared of loosing him.Many times I saw condom in his pocket and when I ask he will say that since we can't do it he has to help himself.that it doesn't mean that he doesn't love me but because he doesn't want to disrespect my body.Because of all this I decided to let another man do it,so when one guy asked me out,I intentionally accepted him not because I love him but because I wanted to get deflowered in order to be available for my man sexually.
After I did it,I told my boyfriend that I have gotten rid of my virginity so I'm free for him now.he was shocked and furious with me.after I calmed him down he made love to me but from that day he started avoiding me.some times when he says that he isn't at home I will find out later that he was at home.one time like that he travelled,he said he will spend two weeks but later he spent only one week but never told me that he was back.I found out that he was back from his journey from his friends.
Please Eve,do you think he doesn't want me again,I have been blaming me for everything,I don't know what to do to win his love back.
Please what can I do to win him back?
Mercy Ossai.
Dear Mercy,
First of all you really presented yourself cheap because what you did is called CHEATING honey and no man want a cheating girlfriend?from all you wrote it appear you only kept your virginity not for your husband or because of God but for your own reason.If you had kept it to please God or for your husband you wouldn't have done what you did.After years of holding yourself for your wedding night,for your husband you later handed it out to a man you just met in order to please a man who hasn't not even proposed to you.A man who openly cheat on you with the excuse that he doesn't like the sight of blood,a man you just met five months ago.
For him not to like the sight of blood is even better for atleast he wouldn't pressurize you into giving him your virginity but you went ahead to give it to another man.what was your expectation after what you have done,were you expecting him to welcome your with a band after you have shown him that you are ready to even kill because of him,you have shown him that the virginity you were keeping was not for your wedding night but for any man who you feel something for.My dear you sold your pride for 5kb.Maybe this man valued you because of your virginity,maybe he wanted you to wet his bed with blood on your wedding night now you have shown him that you weren't really keeping for your wedding night but haven't seen an opportunity to give it out.
You have lost that guy,know that no man who have sense will still be in love with you after what you have done.Because to him now it's two things,one is that maybe you weren't a virgin that means you lied or you were so cheap to the guy you gave your virginity he can't believe you did it for him.he seduced you and you gave it out,from now on he can never trust you again.now it's time to move on, don't you expect anything good from this guy again.move on with you life certainly another man will show up but this time don't tell him what happened between you and this guy.And this man was even cheating on you and you have to give out your pride just to win his love,honey how far now with the winning?just move on because for him to avoid you clearly means he doesn't want you again but he can't tell you.most men can never tell you that it's over verbally they tell you with actions and this is his way of telling you it's over.You have ended up offending God to gain the world.
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